I want everyone to thank Arthur Blessitt for popping Religious Freak’s cherry this week. Originally, I had planned on featuring another freak for this special occasion, but when I ran across Blessitt I knew he was the one. This man has spent the last 35 years pimping Jesus in 303 nations (I didn’t know we had 303 either) and walking over 35K miles! While this is indeed an impressive feat by any standards, this wasn’t enough for this Jesus superstar. What elevates Blessitt to the super freak evangelist category is that he did it while carrying a 12 foot wooden cross. Yep, and Christians think Jesus carried it far. But Jesus gets mad props though for doing it while being whipped I guess. Who knows, maybe Blessitt will have a couple crazies dressed as Roman soldiers with whips on his next walk. That would make it more authentic in my opinion, but I digress.
But it doesn’t stop here folks. You can thank Blessitt for helping George W Bush find Jesus as his savior in 1984 as noted in Blessit’s website and this article on MSNBC. Then one thing led to another and we get this colossal waste of money/lives and more lives. Once again I digress. In case you’re wondering about the pic, yes that is Bush and no it’s not Alfred E. Newman. Ok, I’ll stop ripping on Bush after all I did vote for him once….YIKES! Anywho, I digress again.
But wait, there’s yet another stop on this crazy Jesus parade and that my friends is space! Yep, you heard me correct. Having already spread the word of the lord to every nation, Blessitt is aiming his Jesus cannon toward the heavens. In the Fall of 2005, he will launch a cross into space so other planets and aliens can see just how stupid we are. The cross will be a scant two inches and made of wood from his 12 foot cross.
Arthur Blessitt, we here at Religious Freaks salute you my crazy friend!!
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