Just as humanity was about to give up hope and be cast into the firey pits of damnation for all of eternity, an unlikely Savior makes the ultimate sacrifice.  On May 21, 2006 Madonna, graciously offered herself to God so that we may go on with our meaningless and petty lives.

In typical Madonna fashion, she pulled all the stops and made the event one to remember. Gone is the wooden cross of yesteryear, as Madonna sported a 20ft mirrored cross with all the bells and whistles.

Fans wept openly at this beautiful display of selflessness, while others were not so pleased. “Knock off the Christ-bashing,” Catholic League president Bill Donohue said in a statement Monday. “It’s just pathetic.” When questioned off camera, Bill admitted that he overreacted and was upset because Madonna had beat him to it. "I’ve been waiting my entire life to do this… and this wh*re takes my lunch? I don’t think so, I’m not going down like this."

All we can do now is wait to see if Madonna rises from the dead this Thursday. Keep your eyes peeled!

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