For years, Muslim girls have suffered under the tyranny of Barbie with her skimpy clothes, unrealistic figure, and corrupt Western ideals. There have been many attempts to dethrone this little vixen, but all have failed… that is until now.

First there was Moroccan Barbie, a feeble attempt by Mattel to further infiltrate the Islamic regime. She was quickly picked up by Iranian intelligence and never seen from again.

In response, the Iranian governement personally funded, developed, and trained Dara and Sara, an Islamic duo that failed to deliver. They were no match for Ken’s manliness and Barbie’s sexy facade. Their sales dwindled, and they too disappeared.

Feeling the threat to America’s Barbie, Britian’s very own MI6 stormed the market with the infamous Razanne doll, complete with hijab and optional prayer mat! It seemed that there was no stopping us now. With Barbie and Razanne working together, the Middle East seemed destined to fall prey to the west.

But we were wrong, dead wrong. Syria, it appears, has been working on a new super Islamic doll for years. It had successfully evaded detection by using mobile toy labs. This new doll is known as Fulla and is sweeping the Middle East like wild fire. But why is she flourishing you ask? Like Barbie, she is a full 11 inches tall. She comes complete with hijab (that cover your head so you can only see your eyes thingie) and an abaya (that long-sleeved, ankle-length, black garment worn over the clothes thingie.) But that’s not it, she also comes standard with a pink prayer mat! Check and mate.

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