I couldn’t help but laugh when I read this story. When I was in high school, we had foreign exchange students coming and going all the time. A good friend of mine had joined the program and went off to Germany for several months where he had a truly memorable time. For the most part it’s a great program that affords teenagers to opportunity to get out of their element and experience new things. This couldn’t be truer for a Polish student named Michael Gromek.
Michael, 19, went to America as part of the exchange program to see America in all its splendor. Michael got that and much, much more. You see, Michael didn’t go just anywhere in the US, he ended up smack dab in the good ole Bible Belt: Greensboro, North Carolina. And what happened after his plane landed would definitely stay with him for life.
When I got out of the plane in Greensboro in the US state of North Carolina, I would never have expected my host family to welcome me at the airport, wielding a Bible, and saying, ‘Child, our Lord sent you half-way around the world to bring you to us.’ At that moment I just wanted to turn round and run back to the plane.
What happened after that is just bizarre to say the least. Every Monday, Michael’s host parents would gather the family around the kitchen table and talk about sex. Nothing wrong there except they hadn’t had sex in 17 years and Michael isn’t their kid! The parent claimed they were saving themselves for God.
When asked if he had drunk alcohol, Michael responded yes as most 19 year-olds would. They told him that the devil was in his heart.
It’s goes downhill fast after that with Michael eventually leaving for another family.
Now I’d like to know how would you react as a 19-year-old kid? I know I would have told them to shove it and mind their own damn business. As for going to church against my will, I don’t see that happening unless I was sedated.
Now how would you feel if that were your kid in some other country with a bunch of religious freaks?
Scary!
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- A Good Ole Fashion Bible-Ban
- Bible Predicts Unusually Warm Weather In NYC
- Marine Corps Declares Kids Find Jesus Boring
- Next Level Church–Give Us A Shot!
November 14th, 2006 at 9:24 pm
Let me just say, as someone who is 19 and who lives an hour from greensboro. You really have to be careful who you tell about your religious preference, or lack there of. Ive had more than a few “friends” give me literature and talk me into going to bible study with them.
November 14th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
Oh Michael. You may have switched families, but YOU CAN’T ESCAPE GOD!!! HIS LOVE WILL FIND YOU!!!1!
November 14th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
Hate to admit that I might not have super huge balls, but if I went to a foreign country and had a family wanting to take me to church/temple/whatever I’d end up going at least a couple of times. This story is a super excessive case and I think whoever sets up these hosts families should do some better screening. But religion is part of culture, like it or not, and you can’t get exposed to the culture of the Bible Belt without running into Jesus.
November 15th, 2006 at 1:25 am
ofcourse leave it to “born again” (where’s abortion when you need it) xtians to do something like this. the foreign exchange thing is pretty scary i must say, as much as i love travel i would never take the chance of something like this happening. being in that situation must not be easy. can’t imagine why he waited four months to change families though. science h. logic, maybe one day we can look at this an laugh. ;-)
November 15th, 2006 at 2:08 am
1 - dig out cellphone
2 - Call exchange people
3 - Arrange different family
4 - “When in rome…”
Kind of reminds me of my foreign exchange, which also served to remind me NEVER to go andywhere between texas and the eastcost again.
ps. where in the bible does it say alcholic beverages are bad?
November 15th, 2006 at 9:47 am
On reading this story, I almost feel embarrassed. That family does not represent most Americans. I’m glad he found a better family.
PS Don’t they claim that Jesus supplied wine at a wedding? How can alcohol be wrong if their messiah brought the keg?
November 15th, 2006 at 10:33 am
Alcari, Sidfaiwu: you’re forgetting that these people actually ignore anything Christ tought the world, including the thing about not being a complete missionary-style arsewipe when discussing Christianity. All that matters is that it _sounds_ like Christ probably said “don’t drink, it’s bad for the soul” (which admittedly he probably did at one point, but I’ve only read the Old Testament) which they can then twist around and use for their own sick agendas. Incidentally, as a sixteen-year-old belligerent Briton I would probably never even considering visiting the US outside of New England, simply because as far as I can see it’s the only place that retains any sanity at all. I’d certainly ensure that my host family weren’t maniacs if I went on a foreign exchange trip…
November 15th, 2006 at 10:50 am
You’d likely be just fine in most parts of the US, Ben. I’ve lived in two of the most notorious fundie regions of the US, the Midwest and the South. In fact, I live in NC now. The flagrant fundies are the exception (a very loud and annoying exception). Most people, especially in metropolitan areas, are very normal.
November 15th, 2006 at 11:26 am
Sounds like that family was pretty nuts, even by christian standards.
We may have restrictive views about sex, but if there’s one place we like it, it’s between two married people. I can’t for the life of me figure out why two christians married to each other would refrain from sex for 17 years for religious reasons. In fact, there are verses in the Bible (first part of I Corinthians 7) that tell married couples -not- to refrain from sex.
The Bible seems to be pretty clear that getting absolutely plastered is a bad thing. However, even in the verses where it says something similar to “Don’t get drunk,” that admonition is usually followed by something along the lines of, “because it leads to bad things.” So, in my mind at least, I have a bit of a hard time deciding whether or not, according to the Bible, drunkenness is bad in and of itself, or if it is only bad because it typically leads to people making asses of themselves. Regardless, as near as I can tell, there is no ban on drinking in the Bible. Heck, even my fairly conservative pastor said, from the pulpit, that drinking in moderation perfectly acceptable.
The kid reacted well, as near as I can tell. He doesn’t seem disrespectful of the crazy family. He tried to experience their culture, and when it became too much for him, he left. I’d like to think I’d react as well if I were to try living with a family following a different religion. I’d attend their services, let them talk to me about the beliefs, and follow their customs as best I could as long as doing so didn’t violate any of my own beliefs. But if they started asking me to plant churches in my home country for them, I’d start looking for another place to live.
That brings me to one of the things I hate about my organized religion; These people had no interest in Michael. The one and only reason they adopted him for a year was to recruit him for their church-building efforts in his home country. They didn’t care about him; they were using him. Sure sure, they’d argue that they really do care about the people in Krakow, and that’s why their building a church there. They’re spending a lot of time, effort, and money to set up a base from which to spread the Good News to the people of Poland. (I’m ignoring here the fact that POLAND ALREADY FUCKING KNOWS ABOUT JESUS). They view that as caring, caring for people’s eternal souls. I get that, I understand that. But they’ve got a real live person right in front of their damn faces and they don’t care one damn bit about him! What about him? What about his needs? What could they have done to help him? They’ll never fucking know, because they were too goddamn busy trying to use him to spread their version of christianity to Poland. *Calms down a bit* So, fulfilling some religious duty trumps actually caring for people. That ain’t the way it should be.
November 15th, 2006 at 11:48 am
“However, even in the verses where it says something similar to “Don’t get drunk,†that admonition is usually followed by something along the lines of, “because it leads to bad things.†So, in my mind at least, I have a bit of a hard time deciding whether or not, according to the Bible, drunkenness is bad in and of itself, or if it is only bad because it typically leads to people making asses of themselves.”
I see… So where the bible actually gives some kind reasoning behind what it says, the message should be taken with a grain of salt, but if no explanation is provided, follow it blindly.
November 15th, 2006 at 12:22 pm
“”I see… So where the bible actually gives some kind reasoning behind what it says, the message should be taken with a grain of salt, but if no explanation is provided, follow it blindly.”"
seems that way.
“don’t get wasted” =/= “don’t drink”
November 15th, 2006 at 1:47 pm
“I see… So where the bible actually gives some kind reasoning behind what it says, the message should be taken with a grain of salt, but if no explanation is provided, follow it blindly.”
Well if the Christians actually acted Christ-like like they claim, then how would they obtain power? Because it’s all about the power, right? I mean, Jesus was all for overthrowing the Romans and declaring himself King of the universe and making all his own laws and stuff, hey?
There is nothing about religion that angers me more than when supposedly religious people (especially Christians, just because I see them most often) use religion as nothing more than a thing to advance their own power and interests. Jesus tried to show people how siding with him was a right choice. He didn’t try to indoctrinate or use force (at least I didn’t get that impression from the Bible). He fought for ideas greater than himself and was willing to sacrifice himself for them. But when you get politicians or general zealots who just force things on you, in my mind it ruins every good thing religion has ever done for people (which religion does in fact do, from time to time).
November 15th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Your Father Said:
“I see… So where the bible actually gives some kind reasoning behind what it says, the message should be taken with a grain of salt, but if no explanation is provided, follow it blindly.”
That’s not what I said, or at least, that’s not what I meant to say. Let me try to be more clear:
The question I have is this:
Does the Bible command me not to get drunk, period, or does it merely say it’s not a good idea. If nearly every passage against drunkenness in the Bible goes something like, “Don’t get drunk, because it leads to bad things,” does that mean that getting drunk is bad in and of itself, or only because it leads to bad things. If so, what if I get drunk and it doesn’t lead to bad things? Have I done anything wrong, according to the Bible? Honestly, I’m not sure. I’ve gotten drunk with a few friends before, and it wasn’t the mind-altering orgy-fest that I grew up thinking it would be. We pretty much just sat around discussing religion and politics like always, except we might have giggled a bit more than usual. Did I do something wrong then? I’m not sure. It sure didn’t seem like it. If the Bible just said, “Don’t get drunk,” then I’d be clearer on the issue. But as I’ve already stated, the Bible doesn’t say just that.
So, anyway, I never meant to convey anything as categorical as you said in your post. All I meant to convey is that, on the issue of drinking and drinking “too much,” I, myself, am not completely sure what the Bible commands. I’m firmly convinced that there’s nothing biblically wrong with me playing it safe and just refraining from having more than a beer or two every now and then. In fact, that is what I plan to do. But on those rare occasions when I have a little too much to drink, and nothing bad results from it, I, as a christian, am not quite sure if I should be all that concerned about it.
November 15th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
“If the Bible just said, “Don’t get drunk,†then I’d be clearer on the issue. But as I’ve already stated, the Bible doesn’t say just that.”
“So, anyway, I never meant to convey anything as categorical as you said in your post. ”
Anyone else see the contraction?
If the bible says just to do something, you do it. You don’t question it, you just do it. You ever stop and think that there has to be some kind of reasoning behind everything in the bible be it written by man… or man inspired by god (I’ll humor you), and a lot of the reasons are very stupid, or misguided, or just don’t apply anymore.
November 15th, 2006 at 3:50 pm
@Your Father:
You don’t need to humor me. I’ve been around this site long enough to know that most of you probably, at best, think I’m silly for being a christian, or at worst, think that me and my kind are responsible for 9/11. :-) I know you don’t agree with me and that is fine with me. I’d rather we not be rude with each other, but either way, don’t worry about hurting my feelings.
I’m not sure I see the contradiction in what I said. If the Bible commands me not to do something, then I won’t (with a clear conscience) do it. If it merely suggests a best practice regarding an issue, then I’ll take that into consideration and then do whatever I decide is best. That’s all I meant.
And to be clear on something else, I never said I never question anything in the Bible. I do. Constantly. I question what each passage I read could possibly mean and how to apply that to my life today. I question whether or not there is a clear influence from the culture in which it was written that isn’t in our culture today, and how that might affect my interpretation of any instructions given. Moreover, I question the authenticity and accuracy of the texts we have today, and so much more the accuracy of the translation of those texts that I happen to be reading. If I didn’t question, I’d be stoning adulteresses and refusing to wear polyester.
November 15th, 2006 at 4:45 pm
RE: I’d be stoning adulteresses and refusing to wear polyester.
Wearing polyester is grounds for stoning, in my book.
November 17th, 2006 at 7:13 pm
I think I’d be frightened out of my wits. After all, when you’re in another country you really don’t know how much recourse you can take in others. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that these people were common where they lived and if you sought help you might find more of the same.
Certainly I don’t think I’d have lasted as long as he did. I think maybe I’d have lasted a few weeks, if only because I feel genuine curiosity about those people, but I think the end result would be the same as if one of their children tried to live with the San Francisco Castro St. couples I saw during my childhood, too foreign to cope.
The hard part is that most very religious people I have met (not very many) are VERY nice and pleasant people, you like them, you don’t want to hurt them. Thankfully I never came across the evangelizing type, but I did see that they understand my lack of faith (and especially your lack of NEED of faith) as little as I understood they’re rock solid belief in a book written over many years by many men as the Word Of God.
November 19th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Yeah my classmate had a similar experience. Only it was not in USA. She went as an exchange student to Austria where she found herself in an extremely religious family, luckily this was a very short trip - lasted only for a week. Still, while her friends could go out and have fun/party, she could not do that, absolutely no alcohol, no nothing, they even tryed to make her pray. Well this is very hard to go to a deeply religious family from a atheistic country such as mine. The Soviet Union was able to root out all sorts of religion from this tiny country (the only good thing they ever did). So she kept arguing and fighting - bad-tempered behaviour, yes but what right did they have to forbid everything for her. According to them she was possessed or something - woulda been an awesome trip if she had to take part in an exorcism, eh? ;-)
As I said it lasted only for a single week so it wasn’t too ugly. She herself says the only thing she feels bad about is the child of the host family.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:16 pm
@AlbinoDog
curious what country you’re from. i assume you’re not russian.
as far as good/bad things the soviet union did, have you observed lately what’s going on in russia and satellite countries? appears to me they were much better off during the “good old days”. not saying many things weren’t wrong in the SU. but, i agree with you, the soviet stance towards religion i completely support.
i lived in germany and austria for close to 7 years combined. i have also encountered many deeply religious (christian) people there. however, i have never met anyone there who would be the equivalent of the american born-again evangelists. it’s an interesting issue for me, back in europe i never paid much attention to religion and to what extent people practiced it (well that is only true for xtinaity). i am very interested in the current state of things, esp. compared to things in the states.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:16 pm
UncleMidriff said:
“If I didn’t question, I’d be stoning adulteresses and refusing to wear polyester.”
Exactly… you question. And you answer. You use your own logic and rationality to make (hopefully) sensible choices about your life and the world around you.
So why bother at all with some bronze-age fairy book? Particularly considering that, as a book, it repeatedly condones and promotes racism, genocide, torture, rape, and a host of other horrors.
Why not simply make thoughtful, ethical decisions on your own?
=====
As for the Polish exchange student, where do I start?
I feel bad for the kid, but don’t understand why he stayed soooooo long. Of course, he never should’ve been placed with that family in the first place — there should have been a proper screening process to avoid such nightmare scenarios. Not that people with divergent opinions and beliefs can’t meet and visit and get along just fine… But to drop an unsuspecting teenager halfway around the world into a pit of fundie nutjobs (regardless of denomination) is either cruel or grossly negligent.
And the fundie-family is lucky, in a way. They could’ve ended up with someone like me. Then they would’ve thought they’d invited Satan incarnate into their home. Instead they got some mild-mannered Pole. Now that I’m older, if I were in that situation I might actually stick around to quietly erode their cozy concensus reality and try to innoculate their children against the faith-virus. But back when I was 19, I wouldn’t have been quiet at all. As soon as they started telling me how I had to accept jesus and all that, I would’ve flipped. I would’ve argued about the impossibility of freewill in a universe containing an omniscient/omnipotent creator-god and various other points of logic… all of which would have been a complete waste of time in the face of people whose paradigm is built upon unquestioning acceptance of non-disprovable fairy tales. Then, during my second hour there, I would’ve phoned my parents, my friends, and perhaps my consulate… and then maybe the exchange agency responsible for sending me to this place. Suffice to say that within a short period of time, my departure would be mutually desired.
===
“For many people, part of growing up is killing off the virus of faith with a good strong dose of rational thinking. But if an individual doesn’t succeed in shaking it off, his mind is stuck in a permanent state of infancy, and there is a real danger that he will infect the next generation.” - Richard Dawkins, “The Root of All Evil?” (BBC, 2006)
December 10th, 2006 at 10:54 am
Hey Guys,
first of all, thanks you for all of the comments, I am knowing that the first familly did not represent the states. But I my own opinion the decion to publish the story was one of the best way to warn everybody who will go to the states after me.
However, honestly I would be glad to be able to like go the the states, and start over with my experience, so I case that one of you whould help me to find a good university and host me as a host familly. I will be the first who will pack my close and go to the states for the second times.
So, in case that your would like to have a exchanche student in your house.
Just let me know
michael_gromek@interia.pl
The life is full of destinies… we just have to find the right one - roosvelt :-)