grinch merry christmasTis’ the season to be offended! Every year people of all faiths complain about the holidays, or if your Christian, the very phase "Happy Holidays". Jews cringe at door greeters wishing them a Merry Christmas. Atheists complain about public nativity scenes. And as for the Muslims, well nobody knows what they’re up to.

So it should be no surprise to hear about this story. We travel to the Sea-Tac airport in Seattle where management has taken it upon them to decorate for the holidays. But what holiday you ask? While there were no "Christmas" signs or nativity scenes present, 15 "Christmas" trees lingered suspiciously at each entrance.

Sure there were no tell-tale signs of Jesus’ birthday on the trees, but that wasn’t good enough for a Seattle rabbi with the Central Organization for Jewish Learning. He took it upon himself to hire a lawyer and demand that the undercover "Christmas" trees be balanced with an eight-foot menorah. If his demands were not met, than a federal lawsuit would be filed.

Now lets have a look at the facts: There are 15 trees that may or may not be Christmas trees. Now while we aren’t certain of their height, this Jewish Grinch is demanding one eight-foot menorah to make things equal. But is this fair?

Assuming the trees were at least 8ft tall, and there were 15 of them, that gives us a total of 8 * 15 = 120ft of Christmas tree. As of 2001, Jews represented about 2.2% of the US population, but we’ll round up to 2.5% for good measure. Now with a little math we can see that 2.5% of 120ft equals 3ft. So we can clearly see that the Jews deserve at most 3ft of menorah.

Where the hell does this rabbi come off demanding an eight-foot menorah? Who’s with me on this one? I say that the amount of holiday decorations should be proportionate to their respective religion.

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