virgin mary stalagmiteThrifty Foods in Morton, Texas is host to the latest Virgin Mary sighting. She really outdid herself this time though when she harnessed the power of ice in a freezer to make herself visible. It's not apparent how long Mary has been in the Thrifty Foods, but employee Alma Avalos claims to have discovered her.

To the untrained eye, Mary may appear to be nothing more than a frozen pile of dripping water. But to the faithful, this Popsicle is a powerful icon that has attracted droves of followers and performed acts which can only be described as miracles. One visiting woman said:

I had a lump in my breast and yesterday when I went home it disappeared. I don't have it no more.

Wow, not even I can argue with such irrefutable proof. So long as the freezers stay running, Mary should be safe and curing cancer. The store has promised to keep this advertising icon alive for the time being. Praise the Lord!

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