Thrifty Foods in Morton, Texas is host to the latest Virgin Mary sighting. She really outdid herself this time though when she harnessed the power of ice in a freezer to make herself visible. It's not apparent how long Mary has been in the Thrifty Foods, but employee Alma Avalos claims to have discovered her.
To the untrained eye, Mary may appear to be nothing more than a frozen pile of dripping water. But to the faithful, this Popsicle is a powerful icon that has attracted droves of followers and performed acts which can only be described as miracles. One visiting woman said:
I had a lump in my breast and yesterday when I went home it disappeared. I don't have it no more.
Wow, not even I can argue with such irrefutable proof. So long as the freezers stay running, Mary should be safe and curing cancer. The store has promised to keep this advertising icon alive for the time being. Praise the Lord!
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“I had a lump in my breast and yesterday when I went home it disappeared. I don’t have it no more.”
And if I met this stupid cunt, id call her a “Lying stupid cunt.”
I just got an idea for new dildo. We’ll call it, “The sweet Mary, Mother O’God Virgin Wrecker.”
It is tne centerpiece of our, “JESUS,MARY, AND JOSEPH!!! I’M CUMMING!!!!,” Line.
That picture kinda does look like a dildo. The little nub at the end there isn’t doing it justice.
Stop talking about dildos, I’m getting a lump in my pants for fcks sake.
My word, the comments being offered upon this less than auspicious similacrum of the Catholic Virgin Mother are found lacking in tact and debative candor… and so is your mom.
Seriously though, yeah… looks like a dildo.
It even has a little clit tickler at the bottom!
Snap son!!!111
Icy dead people?
Oh man, it’s pretty bad when we are suppose to be a beacon of secular enlightenment and all we can come up with is stupid dildo references.
Oh. BTW
http://www.divine-interventions.com/mary.html
Someone already beat ya to the Virgin Mary dildo, speaking of which I’m probably going to buy one for my hate filled atheist girlfriend. =D
Jeeze people, keep it clean :p
And at least this isn’t toast, or dog crap…
wow, i must have seen hundreds of Mary statues hanging upside down from sheds, branches and other protruding objects.
Wish i thought of this one, i’d be rich(er)
Hilarious, I’ll need to order one of these dildos…
Has Marry ever been seen on a man’s private part? The basic shape seems to be right… Long, not too thick(marry was slim, right?), with a well defined head…
1 – take a picture and put it on the net
2 – ???
3 – Money
erm, i should have thought about that before hitting the submit button. For the love of god DO NOT follow the above advice.
Why does it always have to be Texas? We have had multiple tortilla incidents, burn patterns in a tree, toast, and let us not forget, multiple pope hat shaped Cheetos. Now we have these retards worshiping a freaking phallic icicle. Why do I live here again?
alcari> the third step is notmoney, it is profit.
Money is easy to get, profit is hard.
This is the reason Bush was elected. These freaks are so easily victims of the power of suggestion.
Not really, this happens mostly with Mexicans and deep Catholics. Mostly Mexican Catholics. They are the ones who see the virgin Mary in practically anything, call it “act of god.” get in the news, speak horrible English.
Here in Washington State we had a incident where the chemical reaction to a road sign caused a beaner panic.
I can’t wait to check my freezer for my very own Virgin Mary! I can see the sales possibilities:
“Has the Holy Mother been missing from your life? Then just call this number and use our state-of-the-art MaryMolder (TM) to create your own image of the Virgin! And kids love it!
Hey Revlic,
What’s up with the racist epithets?
To put it gently, I think that’s exceptionally stupid and fucked up on your part.
Oh… and the “stupid cunt” remark at the top of the page has more than a hint of misogyny to it.
For someone who claims a dislike of irrational beliefs, you certainly seem to cling to several yourself.
thou shalt not worship false idols
so they say
I live in TX, too, and have seen this sort of nonsense time and again. I think one woman even saw the face of Mary in a pattern of brown stuff on a piece of toilet paper, which waited for the kiss of a pair of lips that were waiting for a healing.
@fotomat-
How ’bout a little forgiveness, eh? You gotta’ admit, it is an arresting piece of ice. :-)
fotomat:
Fuck you. FYI
Honestly I can make comments about race, because I’m not afraid to point out that 90% of this apprations are discovered by.
Mexicans, beaners, wetbacks, people who constitute as slave labor.
I can be racist, because, I don’t care.
fotomatt do not appeal to revlic’s “better nature.” He do not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage
What queer set of circumstances do you suppose must have transpired to leave one in a mental state wherein they would rationally reject one ignorant, baseless fairy tale, while simultaneously clinging on to others?
What are the bases for the fears and insecurities likely at play here?
What actions can we, as ethical rationalists, take in the future to try to prevent/lessen the occurrence of such toxic mental states?
@gabrielAmerican
Forgiveness should be seriously considered for whomever sincerely asks for it.
And contrary to your assertion, the piece of ice is, I believe, not “arresting” whatsoever. The only thing of interest is that a bunch of desperate, superstitious people have suddenly shifted their collective gaze onto the piece of ice and are making truly absurd claims about its nature and are ascribing supernatural powers to it. But the ice itself is wholly unremarkable — an icy artificial stalagmite, little different from the ones I’ve witnessed appear in my parent’s malfunctioning freezer.
@fotomat-
By “arresting” I simply meant that the ice-dildo deserved a second look. Perhaps, it reminded me of my own private parts, frozen and holy :-)
“my own private parts, frozen and holy”
Well, I hope that your situation improves such that in the future the similarity to your own private parts will be that people are lining up, night and day, in order to kneel down and worship ;-O
:-)
After seeing things like that, I always ask myself ONE question:
Even if all that bible stuff is real and mary is the saint virgin; WOULD she manifest at all, let alone in popsickles or dog craps?
I mean where in the bible or holy teachings do they even hint that holy things manifest on earth?
Bah.
[...] been no shortage of religious people with overactive imaginations. They’ve seen Mary in the icebox, on grilled cheese sandwiches, in a bag of Funyuns, and even on a greasy pizza pan. The list [...]
The ONLY answer to religious fervor is to kill the perpetrators of this shit! I think a dirty bomb in Jerusalem is a good idea! Stop this shit at the source. Christian, Jew, and Muslim, Exterminate them all!
*Before I begin, I need to put on some Bad Religion to get in the mood*
There we go.
Again, idiocy continues to flock in the consciousness of the weak. Religions are a crutch on society. Seeing mother mary I mean.. Isis, I mean, the constellation Virgo in a chunk of ice just proves how stupid humanity is. How primitive they are and how I’m going to use the bible as toilet paper. People who preach are fascists just like Hitler. “Believe me, or you will die!”
Cult! Cult! Cult! Cult! Cult! Cult!
Some people would do a lot of absurd stupid things for earning big amount of money as a reward. But they are still smart, if not exactly intelligent. No brain no gain.
These religious idiots are doing absurd stupid things for free. They are not smart at all, they are just plain crazy sadomasochistic weirdos, have ever thought about who let the cage open? No pain no gain.
This proves once again beaners are the dumbest fucking people on earth.
How to Rule: (in this case, a nation)
1. Keep the overwhelming majority of the population focused on carefully-crafted delusions;
2. feed the population, constantly and consistently, outright lies and complete fabrications, all whilst totally convincing population, through any form of trickery, convince population to believe things that are simply NOT TRUE; LIES.
3. Use so-called buzz words (such as “God,” “Guns”), while simultaneously using fear tactics (“communism,” “fascism”) in order to prop up or legitimize all conspired-confabulations;
4. No matter what, ADAMANTLY DENY ANY AND ALL FACTS; CONVINCE people that each of their now-strenuously-held “beliefs” (which actually, in reality, are delusions) convince them that their beliefs are TRUE, RIGHT, RATIONAL and WORTH FIGHTING FOR;
5. Blatantly pit separate groups of people against each other, heavily using all media, in order to keep each group insanely confused and belligerent with increasingly irrational fear, as they become more and more preoccupied with their delusions and self-righteousness;
6. Feed the fire: instill hugely inflated sense of rightness (self-righteousness) through wholly-manufactured “evidence;” this particularly useful form of trickery, by the way, is often found disguised as religion in which any one will do;
7. Merely repeat the words “GOD,” “GUNS,” etc. etc.
And, with that, the robber barons have their whole voting base: an utterly deluded and totally brainwashed population, busily fighting tooth and nail directly against themselves and against their own self-interests, liberally fed with deliberate and outright lies and wildly inflammatory rhetoric.
The good news, however, is that TRANSPARENT OPPRESSION is NEVER FOREVER. NOT ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD…Even here in “FREEDOM-LOVING,” “GOD-FEARING,” [WAR-MONGERING, GUN-TOTING] AMERICA…
Christ…ina Marlowe
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