Thrifty Foods in Morton, Texas is host to the latest Virgin Mary sighting. She really outdid herself this time though when she harnessed the power of ice in a freezer to make herself visible. It's not apparent how long Mary has been in the Thrifty Foods, but employee Alma Avalos claims to have discovered her.
To the untrained eye, Mary may appear to be nothing more than a frozen pile of dripping water. But to the faithful, this Popsicle is a powerful icon that has attracted droves of followers and performed acts which can only be described as miracles. One visiting woman said:
I had a lump in my breast and yesterday when I went home it disappeared. I don't have it no more.
Wow, not even I can argue with such irrefutable proof. So long as the freezers stay running, Mary should be safe and curing cancer. The store has promised to keep this advertising icon alive for the time being. Praise the Lord!
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January 16th, 2007 at 12:21 am
“I had a lump in my breast and yesterday when I went home it disappeared. I don’t have it no more.”
And if I met this stupid cunt, id call her a “Lying stupid cunt.”
January 16th, 2007 at 1:22 am
I just got an idea for new dildo. We’ll call it, “The sweet Mary, Mother O’God Virgin Wrecker.”
January 16th, 2007 at 1:23 am
It is tne centerpiece of our, “JESUS,MARY, AND JOSEPH!!! I’M CUMMING!!!!,” Line.
January 16th, 2007 at 1:57 am
That picture kinda does look like a dildo. The little nub at the end there isn’t doing it justice.
January 16th, 2007 at 2:20 am
Stop talking about dildos, I’m getting a lump in my pants for fcks sake.
January 16th, 2007 at 2:27 am
My word, the comments being offered upon this less than auspicious similacrum of the Catholic Virgin Mother are found lacking in tact and debative candor… and so is your mom.
Seriously though, yeah… looks like a dildo.
January 16th, 2007 at 2:48 am
It even has a little clit tickler at the bottom!
Snap son!!!111
January 16th, 2007 at 4:11 am
Icy dead people?
January 16th, 2007 at 4:12 am
Oh man, it’s pretty bad when we are suppose to be a beacon of secular enlightenment and all we can come up with is stupid dildo references.
Oh. BTW
http://www.divine-interventions.com/mary.html
Someone already beat ya to the Virgin Mary dildo, speaking of which I’m probably going to buy one for my hate filled atheist girlfriend. =D
January 16th, 2007 at 5:28 am
Jeeze people, keep it clean :p
And at least this isn’t toast, or dog crap…
January 16th, 2007 at 7:13 am
wow, i must have seen hundreds of Mary statues hanging upside down from sheds, branches and other protruding objects.
Wish i thought of this one, i’d be rich(er)
January 16th, 2007 at 8:18 am
Hilarious, I’ll need to order one of these dildos…
Has Marry ever been seen on a man’s private part? The basic shape seems to be right… Long, not too thick(marry was slim, right?), with a well defined head…
January 16th, 2007 at 8:36 am
1 - take a picture and put it on the net
2 - ???
3 - Money
January 16th, 2007 at 8:37 am
erm, i should have thought about that before hitting the submit button. For the love of god DO NOT follow the above advice.
January 16th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Why does it always have to be Texas? We have had multiple tortilla incidents, burn patterns in a tree, toast, and let us not forget, multiple pope hat shaped Cheetos. Now we have these retards worshiping a freaking phallic icicle. Why do I live here again?
January 16th, 2007 at 11:04 am
alcari> the third step is notmoney, it is profit.
Money is easy to get, profit is hard.
January 16th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
This is the reason Bush was elected. These freaks are so easily victims of the power of suggestion.
January 16th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Not really, this happens mostly with Mexicans and deep Catholics. Mostly Mexican Catholics. They are the ones who see the virgin Mary in practically anything, call it “act of god.” get in the news, speak horrible English.
Here in Washington State we had a incident where the chemical reaction to a road sign caused a beaner panic.
January 16th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
I can’t wait to check my freezer for my very own Virgin Mary! I can see the sales possibilities:
“Has the Holy Mother been missing from your life? Then just call this number and use our state-of-the-art MaryMolder (TM) to create your own image of the Virgin! And kids love it!
January 16th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Hey Revlic,
What’s up with the racist epithets?
To put it gently, I think that’s exceptionally stupid and fucked up on your part.
January 16th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Oh… and the “stupid cunt” remark at the top of the page has more than a hint of misogyny to it.
For someone who claims a dislike of irrational beliefs, you certainly seem to cling to several yourself.
January 16th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
thou shalt not worship false idols
so they say
January 16th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
I live in TX, too, and have seen this sort of nonsense time and again. I think one woman even saw the face of Mary in a pattern of brown stuff on a piece of toilet paper, which waited for the kiss of a pair of lips that were waiting for a healing.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:06 am
@fotomat-
How ’bout a little forgiveness, eh? You gotta’ admit, it is an arresting piece of ice. :-)
January 17th, 2007 at 1:42 am
fotomat:
Fuck you. FYI
Honestly I can make comments about race, because I’m not afraid to point out that 90% of this apprations are discovered by.
Mexicans, beaners, wetbacks, people who constitute as slave labor.
I can be racist, because, I don’t care.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:20 am
fotomatt do not appeal to revlic’s “better nature.” He do not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage
January 17th, 2007 at 3:36 am
What queer set of circumstances do you suppose must have transpired to leave one in a mental state wherein they would rationally reject one ignorant, baseless fairy tale, while simultaneously clinging on to others?
What are the bases for the fears and insecurities likely at play here?
What actions can we, as ethical rationalists, take in the future to try to prevent/lessen the occurrence of such toxic mental states?
January 17th, 2007 at 3:49 am
@gabrielAmerican
Forgiveness should be seriously considered for whomever sincerely asks for it.
And contrary to your assertion, the piece of ice is, I believe, not “arresting” whatsoever. The only thing of interest is that a bunch of desperate, superstitious people have suddenly shifted their collective gaze onto the piece of ice and are making truly absurd claims about its nature and are ascribing supernatural powers to it. But the ice itself is wholly unremarkable — an icy artificial stalagmite, little different from the ones I’ve witnessed appear in my parent’s malfunctioning freezer.
January 17th, 2007 at 9:25 am
@fotomat-
By “arresting” I simply meant that the ice-dildo deserved a second look. Perhaps, it reminded me of my own private parts, frozen and holy :-)
January 17th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
“my own private parts, frozen and holy”
Well, I hope that your situation improves such that in the future the similarity to your own private parts will be that people are lining up, night and day, in order to kneel down and worship ;-O
January 17th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
:-)
January 17th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
After seeing things like that, I always ask myself ONE question:
Even if all that bible stuff is real and mary is the saint virgin; WOULD she manifest at all, let alone in popsickles or dog craps?
I mean where in the bible or holy teachings do they even hint that holy things manifest on earth?
Bah.