The Israeli government approved the country’s first Muslim Cabinet member, Raleb Majadele. Immediately following this announcement, thousands of pigs took to the air to mark this highly improbable event.
Now after reviewing that last paragraph, I find myself chuckling at the prospect of pigs flying in the Middle East. I’d imagine flying pork products of any type wouldn’t be tolerated. As a matter of fact, both Jews and Muslims alike could team up on this one and launch an offensive at the non-kosher filthy pork invaders. This would in turn unite them against a common enemy and bring relative peace to the Middle East causing even more pigs to fly! The cycle continues and life is good. What the hell am I talking about anyways? Back to business.
Arabs represent 20 percent, or roughly 1.4 million, of Israel’s population. Of the 120 seats in the parliament, there are only 13 Arabs, which equates to about 10 percent. Lucky for me I live in the United States where all cultures and religions are represented proportionately equal in government. Had you going there for a second didn’t I ;)
In other news, a Muslim wearing the latest in explosive clothing attacked a bakery inside of Israel.
Related posts:
- It’s Not High-Def, It’s Haredim-Def!
- Muslim Protesters Working Up Their Appetite At Danish Embassy
- Hooters To Open Several Targets In Israel
- Muslim Mickey Mouse Preaches Hatred To Kids
January 29th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Humanistic Jones here with RF Jyhad Watch ‘07.
I today’s news Pigs Fly over the Holy-land sparking Islam and Judaism to put aside age old disputes, uniting the two sects of Abrahamic faith under a common goal.
All told the current body count on these flying swine is immense. In an offering of good will the countries of the middle east have used the money of selling the flesh of these flying pigs to rebuild the war torn region, pay for the Iraq war, and convince the US to remove the military presence. All these event have left the tumultuous region in peace after so many years of religious violence.
In other news, Cyber Warrior TIM was most likely offended in some way by this article for mentioning something offensive to Islam, even though it is a clear jab at the Judaic faith.
More after these word from God.
January 29th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Update on the previous story: the Flying Pigs, who were effectively routed shortly after the joint attack of Jewish/Islamic forces, have said that they will begin launching gorilla attacks in an attempt to force the “primate infidels” to flee. The leader, Mahmoud Sadir Al-Porkr, has released a video online claiming that the Jewish and Islamic forces will be struck down by the hoof of the Great خنزير.
January 29th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Sorry pals, my time is very short; I need to create another Adam and Eve in an alternative universe.
To say it frankly, I got sick of having those crackpots shot kill each other for the last half a century. I mean I _am_ a supernatural being an all, but even I get bored of things like that.
Oh did I forget to mention in any of my 4 holy books that the universe is just a godly way of entertaining myself? no? guess it’s about time i release the 5th edition. If only i hadn’t fired Lucifer… he was good at keeping an eye over these things…
See you around guys
January 29th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
“”they will begin launching gorilla attacks in an attempt to force the “primate infidels” to flee”"
That is either the best typo in the world, or a very witty remark.
In other news:
Religiousfreaks.com is yet targeted by ‘hackers’ for using the word “muslim” in the same sentence as “pigs” though experts agree the two are unrelated.
January 29th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
You guys are too much :p
There’s some serious chuckling going on over here…
January 30th, 2007 at 11:39 am
Tom: And in other news tonight, cats have been seen curling up with dogs and Rush Limbaugh was seen making out with Al Franken. I hear there is talk of wedding bells in their future. Now to Jim with sports.
Jim: Thanks Tom. In a suprising victory, the Cubs have won the World Series, none of the NFL players have gone up on criminal charges this week, and Golf is officially declared not a sport since it can be played while drinking beer. Now to Tony for the weather.
Tony: Thanks Jim. This just in, apparently hell has had quite a cold snap as the lake of fire and brimstone has frozen over. All of the gays there are excited as it has been millennia since they dusted off their figure skates. Now back to Tom with a breaking story.
Tom: Thanks Tony. In a breaking story, God has appeared and asked for a press conference. Apparently according to our sources God is actually a hermaphrodite named Pete and all of the “revelations” he gave the “prophets” he did while stoned out of his gourd. He just got out of a millennia of rehab to discover all the shit he started after a bad acid trip led him to talk to that asshole Muhammad and he apologizes for any inconvenience it may have caused. He further went on to apologize for all of the douchebags who have been Pope, the Inquisition, and those fucking fish people put on their car bumper. Join us at 11 for the full press conference.
January 30th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
I would like to say that I’m arab israeli athiest and former christian that the israeli goverment allow pork keeping only in christian areas only, and there was a suggestion that didn’t accepted but called by a lot of jew people that pigs should not put it on the ground and should be putted in minimum in the second floor cause if they puted on the ground it wouldn’t be kosher.
January 31st, 2007 at 9:19 am
LOL
that’s what i call creative interpreation of the law.