Behold the magical steel and bronze, whip brandishing, spark spewing Jesus statue that I present before you all. It has the mystical power to hypnotize followers and connect them with the Almighty God. Bow down before Jesus and submit to his whip of love. I command you all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!!!
Oh wow, sorry about that but I was overwhelmed and outside myself. The power of magical spark spewing Jesus is not to be taken lightly. Well actually it’s just a statue by artist Brian Burgess on display at the Liverpool Academy of Art. The metal statue is entitled, “Cleansing of the Temple” and portrays Jesus brandishing a whip ready to root out any moneylenders at the Temple.
But it didn’t take long for some poor soul to find a miracle. This honor goes to an anonymous woman and the story goes like this:
‘She was transfixed for more than thirty minutes and when she came out of the trance she said she had witnessed sparks coming from the eyes of the Christ figure. Now the word has spread and we have hoards of people coming along to pray and venerate the statue and many of them have said they have witnessed these sparks too.’
Let’s see Muhammed do that!
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February 14th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Wait, giant statues of metal that spew forth fire? I’m hearing the back story to Mazinger Z all over again. Go Mazinjesus! Salvation Punch!
February 14th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
I’m not sure why, but I think that’s that comment is perhaps the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks :)
February 14th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Oh man, if only I lived in England! I would love to set up a deal with the artist, mod that fucker to start shooting miracles at people who are praying under it. I wonder, are painful miracles still considered miracles?
February 15th, 2007 at 5:35 am
sure are. as long as they look really divine
February 18th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
Let me just say this on behalf of a lot of christens. I could say i was the president but that doesn’t make it true. samthing goes for bieng a christen.
February 18th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
chritian wow i’ve ben spellin that wrong all night i’m tired
June 14th, 2009 at 6:42 am
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