Missing Persons

Mary And Jesus Love Funyuns!

The "virgin" Mary and her son make a surprise appearance in the form of a Funyun under the seat of a man’s car in Virginia.  We’ve been following their quest for one another all over the world and watched in disgust after several narrow misses. With Christmas just around the corner, it looked to be [...]

What’s The Matter Mary?

Over the last couple days at a church in Sacramento, Mary has slipped in to a state of depression and began to weep openly. While the exact reason is unknown, some speculate it has to do with her son being held up in Texas. They have been searching for one another over the last several [...]

Jesus Found In Laredo Texas

Upon hearing of his mother’s appearance in Dallas, Jesus fled Mexico and headed across the border on a pickup truck to see her. Instead of using the the ole plant pot disguise, Jesus went for the dirt on the side of the truck disguise. He made it as far as Laredo, when he was unfortunately [...]

Virgin Mary Found In Dallas

Not to outdone by her showboat of a son Jesus, the Virgin turned up the heat by making a surprise appearance on a tree in Dallas. Once again, the Lord works his magic in mysterious ways. I love saying that. Of course there was no shortage of crazy people who swarmed the area with candles [...]

Jesus Found In Mexico

It appears that Jesus was found in Mexico on a plant pot of all places. The man upstairs does work in mysterious ways. Having just been in Romania I guess he needed a vacation from all the attention. But his vacation was cut short when a receptionist blew his cover at the Occidental Grand resort [...]

Jesus found alive, kinda!

It appears the search is over for Jesus. Having risen from the dead some 2000 years ago (+/- a few), Jesus just disappeared mysteriously.  That is until now. He was found in Romania a year ago with his buddies Peter and Paul living with 66 year old Valeriu Junie and his wife Geta. Apparently they [...]