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I lost my fiance who i was engaged to for six months in a horrific accident about nine months ago! i have been very upset ever since, i think of him and cry everyday! i know he is happy , because he was an excellent humanbeing and loved allah!
Sometimes i blame myself for what happened because i never used to pray to allah earlier, i did, but not as much as i was supposed to!. i never prayed for my fiance and me, even though my parents are very religious, and since i was in college, i dint pay much attention, and enjoyed being with friends ! i also misbehaved with my parents regarding the marriage in the initial stages , rebelling against the wedding and infact stopped talking to them for a month! , even though at a later stage i started loving my fiance! was this a way of god to punish me? by taking away the best thing that happened to me?? was this a way to show me that prayers could have really helped? because, mashallah, i try not to miss my prayers and read the quran and keep voluntary fasts, i even went for umrah during ramdhan for this purpose and mashallah performed six umrahs, one in my fiances name also!. and prayed to god that all the sawab went to him!. im depressed and i want to have my questions answered, he was everything in a man that i wanted!. a perfect life partner.. yet i know it was gods plan,, im content thinking of destiny but i blame myself often feeling guilty knowing what a wonderful life i could have had, and the fact that im not! please help!
i often wish for him to come back, yet helplessly! He died in an accident when he was coming to meet me, and its said that a person who dies in an accident dies as a martyr? is it true?. Does a mans decree change with prayers? does it make a difference to the time of death of a person?. does it prolong a persons life?. im completely helpless!
may peace and comfort in your time of sorrow, is my prayer for you, In my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
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