Second Coming Gets Crucified In Divorce Court

It just goes to show what a messed up world do we live in when even Jesus Christ himself can’t get a fair shake in court!

Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda, aka the 2nd Coming, just got fleeced in Miami divorce court to tune of $2.2 million in cash and properties. Oddly enough the judge claimed that Jesus’ church, Growing in Grace, was not a religious non-profit, but a personal business. It’s hard to believe I know!

The persecution doesn’t end there though. If Jesus fails to pay this extortion then the court will seize some of the church’s various properties leaving his father and first wife homeless! You heard that right… The court would evict Jesus’ father. You may of heard of him before… he goes by the name of GOD. Ring a bell?

I’m by now that many of you are asking yourself… how can I help? What can I do? Right now Jesus needs your financial support. Please send your donations and together we can keep God off the streets and get Jesus through these trying times.

CRECIENDO EN GRACIA
c/o Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda
P.O. Box 27-8200
Miramar, FL 33027

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Magical Black Jesus Fools The Flock Yet Again


Tens of thousands of Filipino Catholics flooded the streets of Manila today in hopes of touching a 17th century dark-skinned statue of Jesus Christ… known by his fellow gang members simply as The Black Nazarene or Magical Black Jesus (MBJ for short). Complete story here.

Now to the untrained eye it would appear that these people are acting rather foolish… stepping on one another just to touch a statue. But a closer look will reveal that it is us who are the foolish ones. For you see, this statue is not merely a 402-year-old piece of wood that was burned at some point. Oh no, it is a Magical Jesus that possesses mystical powers… ones that can wash away sins and cure illnesses with merely a touch! Just look at these iron-clad testimonials:

Edna Gapo, a 40-year devotee, said the Black Nazarene has blessed her family with a good life. “All my children have good jobs abroad. And I was able to buy a car. “And when I was sick and struggling to stay alive, He made me well,” she added.

Fely Tan, a devotee, said: “The Black Nazarene is really miraculous. He blesses me even financially.”

I have but one simple question. If Magical Black Jesus is so powerful then why is poverty on the rise in the Philippines and why would they be still be so faithful?

Fr Jose Clemente Ignacio, Parish Priest, Quiapo Church, said: “The faith of the Filipinos has been growing. Poverty has also been increasing in our country and there are more people coming to ask help from our Lord.”

Personally I wouldn’t ask Magical Black Jesus for help… I’d demand answers :)

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GO BACK TO THE OVEN!

The clip takes place in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida on December 30. On one side of the street there are several extremely pissed off and vocal Muslims protesting Israel’s latest round of attacks on Hamas. And of course on the other side we have the pro-Israeli contingent. My guess is they were just as loud, but it’s difficult to tell with this crazy Muslim girl just going off!

Watch the clip and check out the world’s biggest mouth in action. I honestly don’t even have a comment for her… except WOW!

If you’ve ever wondered why Jews and Muslims never seem to get along and never will… here’s your answer!

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Holy SHi’ITe Kids! Happy Ashura!

Happy Ashura everyone! In case you’ve missed this years festivities you can see how kids from Lebanon and Baghdad celebrated this special occasion…

ashura 2009

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Children Finally Safe From Terrifying 10-Foot Jesus

The children of West Sussex eagerly emerged from the safety of their homes for the first time in over 40 years to celebrate the capture and subsequent removal of Jesus.

Jesus moved to the neighborhood in 1963 following the construction of his new home. Residents were immediately weary of their new 10-foot tall charcoal-skinned neighbor who stood outside day and night quietly, yet ominously, staring at passersby.

One resident who asked to remain anonymous said, “It’s a bit awkward that he’s outside day and night. I mean why would you build a home and not even use it. That’s just weird, yet I can’t help but feel sorry for him. He just looks so sad, like he lost his dog or something.”

While most adults cautiously welcomed Jesus, many children weren’t so accepting. Little 8-year-old Jimmy holding back tears had this to say, “He gave me the heebee jeebees and I couldn’t sleep at night. I’m so happy the scary man is gone.”

Complete story here.

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All Aboard The Atheist Bus–Next Stop Hell

Today 800 buses, all across the UK, will hit the streets promoting Atheism. The project, known simply as The Atheist Bus Campaign, was the brainchild of 28-year-old TV comedy writer Ariane Sherine. The campaign has been a phenomenal success and has garnered the unbridled support of Richard Dawkins.

I’d like to be the first one here to congratulate Ariane on her efforts and I look forward to the ensuing advertising war as the Christians gear up for battle. No matter what happens, it’ll be good for the economy ;)

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Abstinence Programs Effectively Promote Ignorance

First off I’d like to dedicate my first real post this year to Shaze, a kind and warm individual who is nothing short of an inspiration to us all. Oh wait a sec… no it’s because this article is about sex ;)

Last week Janet Rosenbaum, Ph.D., of John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, released a study on abstinence that I’m sure all of you will find truly shocking. Dr. Rosenbaum discovered that abstinence pledges among teenagers are actually ineffective! I know what you’re thinking… how is this possible especially if they’re wearing those magical abstinence rings?

Well before we tackle that Scooby Doo mystery, there’s yet another bombshell I’m about to drop on you. Dr. Rosenbaum also showed that when these hormone-charged teens eventually cracked they did so in style and were more likely to bareback it. But why?

Abstinence programs, like the Silver Ring Thing ministry, promote their agenda with fear instead of education. They demonize premarital sex as if it were nothing more than a dirty act rife with STDs and unwanted pregnancies… a dangerous game that can only be played safely amongst married individuals. They fail to educate teens about new fandangled things like condoms which help prevent STDs and birth control pills that can magically prevent unwanted pregnancies. Heaven forbid they even made monogamous relationships an option.

So once these teens succumb to their “God-given” dirty urges they are totally ill-prepared to do so in a safe manner. To me, organizations like the Silver Ring Thing are not only misleading teenagers but they are actually endangering them with their religious-based ignorance and fear tactics.

Watch this promotional video and tell me I’m wrong…

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What Do You Mean The Earth Is 5000 Years Old!?!?!?!

A few months ago I was ready to throw in the towel with ReligiousFreaks. After a rough year I felt that I couldn’t muster the energy needed to keep up the good fight. Even worse I started to feel that I wasn’t fighting the “good” fight, much less making a positive difference. Hopelessness comes to mind.

Just as I was about to pull the plug, a series of random events occurred that brought everything back in to focus and renewed my drive. I was at a local jazz club with some friends watching an old classmate perform. Everything was good to go! We had great music and several pints of Guinness. The only thing missing was some intelligent conversation.

It didn’t take too long before I ended up in a three-way conversation with people that had tagged along with one of my friends. Of course after a few pints of Guinness, I was ready to solve the world’s problems. We tackled the economy, politics, the bailout, and it wasn’t long before religion was up on the chopping block. Ok for those of you who aren’t aware… never under any circumstances engage in religious discussions at a bar after a several pints of Guinness. It rarely turns out well. But I’m not one to heed my own advice so in to the rabbit hole I go!

About 10 seconds into the “discussion”, it was painfully obvious that this woman was not the brightest crayon in the box. Now I don’t have a problem with people of faith… what I do have a problem with is a person’s inability to think rationally and more importantly think for themselves. Unfortunately the two seem to go hand-in-hand.

Before I knew it we were embroiled in a bitter argument on whether the Earth was 5000 years old or several billion. Oh it gets better. In between bouts of “Are you serious?” and “What do you mean the Earth is 5,000 years old? Are you crazy?”, I tried to explain the scientific method and all the research that has gone in to this. I laid out a pretty good case for science (best I could after several pints) to which she just laughed off.

I was completely dumbfounded and tried to discuss evolution. Big mistake! It was as if I were trying to teach my dog sign language. I felt like the miracle worker! This was the first time I had actually met someone like this in person. Sure I run across people like this on my website all the time, but it’s much more insane in person.

It was at that very instant though that this blog and everything I’ve been trying to do for the last several years came in to focus. My mission was far… FAR… ok I mean F A R from over. As a matter of fact I barely even scratched the surface. But was I even making a difference though?

Over the next few days I felt awful about how I had assailed her at times that night… I blame it on the Guinness ;) But seriously I realized that I had gotten it right with this site, at least partly. Posting real-life stories of religious idiocy is not only more subtle than blindly attacking people, but my guess is that it’s more effective too.

About a week passed when I was driving back to work from lunch and some woman cut me off. Normally I don’t really give a damn and just blurt out a few choice words, but today I decided to briefly tap the horn. As I peered through the back window of her car I noticed a rather large crucifix dangling from the rearview mirror which was soon accompanied by a middle finger! In between bouts of laughter I couldn’t help but think of this site. It was a sign from God! LOL

Over the following week this site was on my mind a lot and I seriously pondered what I wanted to do with it. I was still on the fence until I received an intriguing email from a woman who working for a production company. She said that a new documentary series was in the works and that they wanted to use a shot of my site. I contacted her and discussed the project and eventually signed a release for them. Before you get excited, it’s nothing big… just showing a specific webpage for a few seconds while they discuss the story. But nonetheless I was pretty excited ? I spoke with her a few times afterwards and it was rather motivating because she was validating all the hard work that I had put in this site.

Holy crap! I was just about to say, “To make a long story short…”, but that’s obviously too late ;)

Well to make a really long story not-so-long… I came to the realization that I was not thinking big enough with respects to ReligiousFreaks. Not only do I want to continue with this site, but I want to kick it up a notch and really make an impact. There really is no point to running a site like this unless you put everything you’ve got into it. With everything that went on in my life over the last 2 years, I didn’t have the time. And if I didn’t have the time to do it right then I wouldn’t do it at all. That’s how I felt and why I stopped posting. But much has changed in my life and not only do I have the time, more importantly I have the focus and drive to really make this site what it should be.

Stay tuned…

gasmonso

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Happy New Year Everyone!

I’d like to chime in and wish everyone here a Happy New Year and let you all know that I’m still alive and kicking. There’s so much for me to talk about that I’m not even sure where to begin… or even how to begin. But this is a start!

Over the next few days I’ll be posting on my current situation and where I see things going with this site. Until then I would like to say that I dearly miss writing and conversing with all of you.

But right now I need to get some rest though as I’m completely worn out from New Years… and no it’s not because I drank too much :) This year I decided to ring in the New Year with a splash and did the Polar Bear plunge! Let me tell you… there’s something seriously wrong with people who willingly jump in to ice-filled water! Yea, I’ll probably be first in line next year ;)

Take care,

gasmonso

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Fitna–Geert Wilders’ Film Critical Of Koran

Right-wing Dutch lawmaker Geert Wilders launched his film Fitna today in which he accuses the Koran of inciting violence. Not quite sure where he got that idea ;)

Anyways, take a peek for yourself. It’s a mere 15 minutes so you won’t waste too much of your time :)

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