Some People Are Sikh Of Jay Leno

Mitt Romney Golden TempleHonestly I’m not a fan of Jay Leno or the Tonight Show. But Leno finally managed to get a laugh out of me though the other day when Presidential candidate Mitt Romney was forced to release his tax return. It proved the obvious… Romney is wealthy. Really wealthy. So Leno decided to do a slideshow via TMZ of politicians and their homes. First off was Newt Gingrich’s pad, followed by Ron Paul’s, and lastly Mitt Romney’s summer home. Just watch and you’ll see!

Now one would presume that it’s just a harmless joke. Right? Wrong! What most people didn’t realize is that the house jokingly shown as Romney’s summer home was actually the holiest shrine in Sikhism known as The Golden Temple. And Dr. Randeep Dhillon, the one Sikh watching The Tonight Show, did NOT find Leno’s joke amusing. Not only was he DEEPLY offended, but he was driven by God him/her/itself to sue Jay Leno for libel. Dr. Dhillon claims that Leno is responsible for encouraging hatred and/or ridicule of HIS religion!

Now let’s think about that for a second… If anyone should be offended it should be Romney as he’s a Mormon and not a Sikh. Now millions of voters think Romney is a Sikh! That could cost him the election this November! Or maybe Ron Paul should be offended because people think he lives in that “dinky” little ranch home. But I hardly think Dr. Sensitive has any reason to be offended. It’s not like it’s his house! As for Leno being responsible for encouraging hatred and ridicule, I think Dr. Dhillion is making his religion look foolish by acting like such a douche bag.
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World’s Greatest Church Singer… EVER!

Holy shit! Ever wonder what a prepubescent George Costanza would be like if he sang at a church? Well today is your lucky day! Sit back and listen to this beauty, “Looking For a City.” If you can make it through the whole thing in one sitting then you’re tougher than I.
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Atheists Are Empty-Headed Accidents?

atheist billboard south africaRecently a church in South Africa was ordered to take down a billboard. It was erected last year in a prominent position on the property of the Rivers Church in the Sandton suburb of Johannesburg. The billboard states, “An Atheist is a man who believes himself to be an accident” which is a famous quote from English poet Francis Thompson. For those unfamiliar with Thompson, he was a poet in the late 1800′s. He was addicted to opium and lived as an “unbalanced invalid” in Wales and at Storrington. He died of tuberculosis is 1907. You can read more here. Now back to the story!

A non-Christian (probably an Atheist unfortunately) seeing the billboard contacted South Africa’s Advertising Standards Authority and voiced a complaint. The ASA forced the church to remove the offending billboard stating:

“The visuals of a man holding the sides of his empty head suggest that atheists are “empty-headed” or lack intelligence, presumably as a result of the above “belief” communicated”

The church submitted that the advertisement is based on Psalm 14v and Psalm 53v1, which say “only foolish say in their hearts there is no God”.

Now my first impression of the matter is that it’s a pretty damn funny advertisement. I’m not too pleased that a non-Christian, probably an Atheist, was offended and actually complained. But honestly, do Atheists actually think they’re ignorant? Not a chance. Christians, Muslims, and other believers may think we Atheists/Agnostics are stupid, but there are studies that show quite the opposite especially when dealing with matters of religion. One well-known study, The U.S. Religious Knowledge Survey, was conducted in 2010 by The Pew Forum. The results speak for themselves:

religious knowledge survey

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Blazing Saddles, Flaming Bulls, And Hot Dogs?

st anthony dayToday officially marks the Feast of Saint Anthony, seen by many as the Patron Saint of Animals. And what better way to celebrate this special day then by making out with your furry friend in the comfort of a church. Not quite your style? Fair enough, how about creating a humongous bonfire in the street with 12 foot flames and jumping it with your horse! Still too dull for ya? Well guzzle a bottle of locally made alcohol and do it again! Woohoo! Now we’re getting somewhere. While villagers believe the flames have cleansing powers and will help to bring them prosperity, I’m thinking it’ll cleanse the horses alright… it’ll cleanse them of all their hair!

But what about those of us that haven’t a pet? Are we to be left out of the festivities? Oh hell no, this is  Spain we’re talking about and they cap the night off with a bull run. A flaming bull run! And I’m not talking about gay bulls folks. Forget about sharks with frickin’ laser beams, these are some seriously pissed-off bulls with their horns lit on fire chasing after you!

Needless to say, PETA is probably not a sponsor of this event.

st anthony day

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Jesus Stuck In New England Traffic

Tebow fans and religious freaks alike were all set for Saturday night’s playoff game between the Broncos and the Patriots. With Jesus favoring the Broncos heavily, Denver fans were all too confident. With a 14 point deficit after just the first quarter, many figured that Jesus was just spotting the Patriots a few points to make it interesting. But with a 28 point deficit at the half, some started wondering what Jesus was up to. Was he setting the stage for the most dramatic comeback of all time?

With the Patriot’s lead steadily increasing throughout the 3rd quarter, some Tebow fans started feeling worried. Others held out for a 4th quarter crusade of sorts that would unleash a biblical fury on the Patriots. It never came. Denver fans and the faithful stood in disbelief as the mighty Tebow fell from the heavens without the help of Jesus. Tebow threw for a paltry 136 yards and 0 touchdowns. Ouch!

Enjoy this clip of Tebowie from Jimmy Fallon in remembrance of the fallen angel Tim Tebow.
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43% Of Americans Are F^ck!ng Stupid

tim tebow and godIt’s finally Friday and like me, many Americans are looking forward to the playoffs this weekend. While there are four games, one in particular is reaching “heavenly” proportions. That game of course is Tim “Jesus” Tebow and the Denver Broncos vs. The New England Patriots.

For those of you unaware of the whole Tebow mess, he’s the Denver Broncos quarterback who is ranked 24 out of 32. While his stats are subpar, Tebow is credited with several last-minute “miraculous” wins. And of course after every win he takes a knee to thank Jesus for the victory. Good stuff.

If that’s not batshit crazy in itself, then try this statistic on for size. In a nationwide survey on January 8th, 43% of 756 respondents believed that Divine Intervention was at least partly responsible for Tebow’s success! There’s a margin of error of only +/- 3%. I would have thought it was more like 100%, but I’ll take their word for it.

If this poll is representative of the United States as a whole, then it’s no wonder why the country has seen better days. The very thought that God has nothing better to do than help some mediocre quarterback win football games is straight up crazy. Let’s be God for a minute… Never mind war, poverty, or Catholic priests molesting children… no I’m gonna focus my magical powers on a stupid f^ck!ng football game. Yea that makes complete sense!

Are these people out of their minds? Seriously naive? Or just f^ck!ng morons? Wow! I just can’t believe it’s the 21st century and people honestly believe that there’s a God winning football games.

You can see the complete results of the survey here.


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Pope: Gay Marriage Ultimate Threat To Humanity

pope kisses el tayebIt’s 2012 and as we all know it’s the end of the world. The Mayans predicted hundreds of years ago, but forgot the mention exactly how it would end. Some believe that a killer asteroid would slam into the Earth leading to a fate similar to the dinosaurs some 2500 years ago. Others think it’ll be an old standby like war or disease. Then there are the religious types that think the seas will boil and some horsemen will ride into town and blah blah blah. They’re all wrong.

Pope Bendict XVI has uncovered the real truth. Forget about famine, war, disease, aliens, asteroids, and all that silly crap. The biggest threat to humanity’s very existence is gay marriage! Pope Benedict says:

“Pride of place goes to the family, based on the marriage of a man and a woman. This is not a simple social convention, but rather the fundamental cell of every society. Consequently, policies which undermine the family (gay marriage) threaten human dignity and the future of humanity itself.”

Words of wisdom from a man that, just a year ago, stated that pedophilia wasn’t an absolute evil.

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Yet Another Reason To Detest Justin Bieber

justin bieberTake your pick. Maybe it’s his ginormous Bert-like eyebrows that look as if they’re glued on his head, or that prepubescent shrill of a voice that makes your skin crawl. There’s something about Justin Bieber that makes putting ice picks in your ears an attractive idea. Honestly I’d rather chew aluminum foil while massaging Rosanne Barr’s feet on a hot and humid afternoon. He’s just that annoying.

And just when I thought there was nothing else he could do no more wrong, he finds a way! Justin Bieber is a full-blown Jesus freak. He has the tattoo(s) to prove it. A large image of Christ on his calf and his name in Hebrew on his ribcage. Nice! In the past Justin has stated quite simply:

I’m a Christian, I believe in God, I believe that Jesus died on a cross for my sins. I believe that I have a relationship and I’m able to talk to him and really, he’s the reason I’m here, so I definitely have to remember that. As soon as I start forgetting, I’ve got to click back and be like, you know, this is why I’m here.

So what do you think? Did Jesus really die on the cross for Justin Bieber’s singing or did Bieber’s singing cause Jesus’ death? With over 2 million dislikes, just listen to Baby and the answer will be obvious. Yikes!

justin bieber jesus tattoo

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Victoria Jackson Doubles Down On Stupid

victoria jacksonWhat do former SNL star Victoria Jackson and crazy have in common? As it turns out… Everything.

For those who aren’t familiar with Victoria Jackson; she was born in Miami and raised by devout Christian parents in a home without a television. She was a cheerleader, Homecoming Queen, and went on to attend Florida Bible College.

Later in life she was a regular cast member on Saturday Night Live. She’s also appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson 20 times where her signature act was reading poetry while doing a headstand. She’s also appeared in numerous movies and TV shows.

But lately Victoria Jackson has been making headlines with comments she’s made both on and off her new Web talk show PolitiChicks. What’s PolitiChicks you ask? Take The View; add a healthy smattering of stupid. Bake for 11-12 minutes and shower it with conservative Christian sprinkles. Tada! Now you have PolitiChicks. Just be sure to take in very small doses. Now back to Victoria…

On a recent show entitled, Inside Look at Congressional Briefing on Islamization of America, Victoria says how she was privied to secret documents claiming that Islamists have infiltrated the highest levels of our government, including The White House! Their agenda? To institute Sharia Law in the US and make us all slaves of Islam. Muhahahahaha! Jackson goes on to say that the Muslim Brotherhood has infiltrated our communities, our country, and our lives. Scary stuff!

But I thought the gays were taking over the US? Sure enough, Victoria Jackson has that covered too! Back in March she wrote a piece for the World Net Daily and had this to say…

purple jihadEveryone knows that two men on a wedding cake is a comedy skit, not an “alternate lifestyle”! There I said it! Ridiculous!

Did you see “Glee” this week? Sickening! And, besides shoving the gay thing down our throats, they made a mockery of Christians – again! I wonder what their agenda is? Hey, producers of “Glee” – what’s your agenda? One-way tolerance?

No Victoria! The agenda is obviously both Gay and Islamic rule over the United States and the destruction of Israel. Now this guy has the right idea!

If you have the stomach for it you can watch Victoria Jackson and see for yourself what a strict Christian upbringing is capable of producing.

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The Sharia Don’t Like It — Don’t Rock The Casbah

aceh punk rockerJoe Strummer, lead vocalist of the British punk rock band The Clash, is rolling over in his grave over recent events in Aceh Indonesia.

Last week police rounded up 65 youths during a punk rock concert and brought them to a detention center for “reeducation.” Their crime? Being punk rockers. Not only were these youths held for 10 days, but their spiky Mohawk hairstyles were shaved off. But why all the hate towards these youths? That’s an interesting story.

Back in 2004, Aceh was one of the hardest hit areas in the tsunami. Thousands perished and the region was all but leveled. While most rational people understand that the tsunami was caused by an earthquake underneath the ocean, the Muslims of Aceh have another theory. Many believe that the tsunami was punishment for insufficient piety! And as such there has been a steady increase in Sharia Law.

As for punk music, Sharia don’t like it! The chairman of the Aceh Association for Imams, Tarmizi Rasyid, also suggested that the detention period for the punks who had been arrested should be extended from 10 days to three months.

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